Sunday, September 19, 2010

Attitude of Gratitude

My old friend insomnia is visiting me again. This happens every so often. I'm hoping this won't be a regular occurence, but I figure it's a good opportunity to sit here in the dark, listen to the sounds of the traffic below on Haddon Ave., and check in with myself. It's been over 6 months since I've done this, and since this blog was created so that I'd have some accountability for the changes I wanted to make in my life, that's no good. Although, part of the reason I haven't blogged is because I've been busy making changes. So that is good.

It was a long, snowy, sick winter, and a long, hot, hectic summer. I'm so happy now to be able to sit here in my writing/yoga room and feel the fall chill in the breeze coming thru the window next to me. July was filled with my car dying (R.I.P., 2002 Lancer), buying a new car, said new car getting rear-ended and being in the shop for two weeks, and the ceiling of my apartment falling in. Let's choose not to focus on July, except to say that it brought about the possibility of change. I can sit here in my yoga/writing room now, because I actually have a yoga/writing room, because the caving in of my ceiling allowed me to get out of my lease in Palmyra and move to a 2 bedroom place in Collingswood. I now have more space, natural light, a proper kitchen, hardwood floors, and walkability -- meaning I can walk places. Or ride my bike. It's freaking awesome. It also puts me next door to Yogawood, where I completed my teacher training in May (woot, woot -- check that off the 33Y list!). Actually, check moving out of Palmyra off the 33Y list as well! I can now walk to my good friend Sharon's house, which is also pretty freaking awesome. We discovered the first week I was here that we could drink wine at each other's places and not have to worry about driving home.

I would post pics of the new place, but I believe my camera is in the bedroom, where my boyfriend is currently asleep, and I don't think he'd appreciate being woken up at 4:30 in the morning so that I can share pics of my apartment with the four or so people who will probably actually read this blog. :-)

I'm so grateful to be here. I have so much in my life for which to be thankful. Not the least of which is that I just realized my camera is sitting right next to me, so, pics of the new place:

Okay, so the formatting on those got all jacked up, and I'm not in the mood to figure out how to fix it, but you get the idea. This place is awesome. And I'm so grateful that I get to be the one to live in it.

I'm grateful for a lot of things. I'm grateful that I can look out my window right now and see a tree instead of a parking lot, that I get to spend this time in solitude and reflection, that I have my health and a functioning brain and body that allow me to sit here and type these words. I'm grateful for the cats that made their way into the above pics -- for their companionship and unconditional love. And I'm grateful for the person sleeping in the next room.

Matt resurfaced in my life back in February, after we had met at a writer's workshop a few years back, gone on a couple of dates, and lost touch. I credit my being anthologized with putting my name back into his brain (we were published by the same small press, so he was on the mailing list for a reading I did last winter), and I credit facebook for putting us back in touch, since that's how he ultimately found me. Facebook. Who knew?

Matt is funny and warm and smart and sincere. He challenges me and encourages me to do the things that make me happy and the things that make me me. Like moving. Like pursuing a new job. Like taking a much needed vacation. Like writing. I don't know where this relationship will end up, or how long I'll be lucky enough to have him in my life, but I'm so grateful that he's here now.

I feel truly blessed. And when things get difficult, as they always will in life, I have to remind myself of all of these blessings.
And now I feel blessed that my eyelids are getting heavier, these words are getting blurrier, and I can go crawl into my bed and fall asleep, hopefully not to wake up until the Sunday morning sun is shining thru my window.
Gratefully yours,